Foo

allright. here we go again. so last week I summoned my mind about my rampaging thoughts concerning worldpeace and our immaculate connection to the whole; thus, putting our behaviour in question or better, to the test for the future. can we stand up to the challenges with our ego alone? I do not believe so. but this is the momentaneous truth: the "I" rules!
Since pretty chimp "W" decided to ignore common law and conventions, it seems that the trend has now arrived at the end of the chain; to the common homo urbano sapiens, while commuting to his daily hunting grounds, the office jungles around the globe.

I enjoy commuting, because it offers a very thourough, in-depht perception on the behaviour of our fellow citizens. I love fresh spilled coffe on the ever taken seats, or the ocean breeze in my neck coming down from a passenger behind, just as he'd inhaled the remnants of a smoke before entering the bus. in summer, the climate raises the level of body odours to a tight bouquet, and in winter, the lush scent of Vicks embedds us with subtle touch.
but what I love the best, are farts...exactly, the one and only sniff of life; the fart.
why so? have you ever observed when a baby farts and his expression changes instantly from normal to angel??? or when a kid happens to let one sail through the room, he will under no circumstances reveal the origin of the set free fart, and opt for a pockerface.
well, one will think that this behaviour would change while marching onto adulthood, but hey, that must be one of the last freedoms kept from childom. farts are like a conspiracy, they sneek up on you from deep within your intestines, working their way through to the only exit possible, the holy anus! while commuting, this process can be noticed, to a well trained eye, through stingy movements in the passenger seat of the subject and ever nervous looks onto the crowd around.

today however, I had no chance to escape. It hit me like hurricane. it lingered in my neck, using the slightest airchange to grow stronger, swirling, waiting to unleash its wrath and to attack. as it reached the critical point, not sure of still counting as methane or already needing re-classification into chemical armageddon, the releaser sent it with a swift movement of the morning newspaper on its deadly way accross the aisle, devastating everything along its path.
like I said, I had absolutely no chance. It took my breath away, I was paralized, I'd thought that my eyes would pop out and run away, leaving my emprisoned body behind to contemplate the horrors of methane death.
and like you would expect it, as all the unfortunate fellow victims turned around to have at least one last look onto the releaser of this wind of doom, angelface came to great us, and in an attempt of relating to us, he would also turn his face aournd to see "who could possibly be this asshole, who..." and was left with the blank white plastic interior of the buswall to contemplate. but angelface is also a pockerface, because everyone can hide behind a facial expression representing absolute nothingness. so, with the next station arriving, we all opted for a double opening time of the sliding doors in the name of cleaner, urban morning air.

and as the master of beans&air exited, I somehow thought noticing a smile.

so releasing a fart from hell unnoticed, must be the last freedom of childom, but then again, nothing looks more silly than an adult acting like one...

for the ones that think farting in public is fun, here is a guide that will very likely provide further entries in my blog